Wednesday, November 16, 2011

random things that i say to my kids

1. going to the bathroom is not a team sport...I can do it by myself

2.Your brother doesn't want you to pick his nose

3.Monkey doesn't go on the potty

4.I don't care if you wear your underwear backwards, I just didn't think you would want a constant wedgie

5.Your bedroom looks like it threw up legos

6.Santa sends me the bill and he personally told me everyone is on a budget this year

7.Caillou isn't real and whoever wrote that cartoon has clearly never been around a four year old...they do not always act that way

8.We keep on diapers on because poop is not something we play with or color our cribs with

9.I know that Zach finds it funny but its only fun until his brains are splattered all over

10. We don't eat ice cream for breakfast ( unless you are 30 and the mother of 3 and no one is watching)

11. Please don't wipe your nose on my pillow

12. Just because there is jelly on your hands it doesn't mean you can run them through your hair as a way to style it

13. I know its funny when dogs lick you but it doesn't mean you can lick people and call it dog kisses

14. I am in charge because i gave birth to you which automatically gives me that right

15. Thank you for sharing but i do not want your half eaten slobbered on food

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